Istanbul: where properly old meets just old

It’s often said about Istanbul that it’s the “city where old meets new”. This was no doubt true in the 80’s, when neon lights were new. Still, the effect is something to behold:

The Bosporus fish sandwich boats

My favourite thing about this video is the half-bored half-blasé expressions on the chefs’ faces as they swing on a giant aquatic pendulum, sandwich in hand, towards the wait staff.

The spice bazaar

The bazaar is full of cheerful men selling brightly coloured confections. One tells me “sir, try this, it is Turkish Viagra” then to Jude a couple of seconds later “lady, try this, it is Turkish nougat”.

The spice bazaar

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A third kind of Romanian blood sucker

Romania is a great country to visit and has such a lot going for it so it’s a shame that this post is also about an evil character (we’ve previously posted about bed bugs and vampires). But we simply couldn’t let Nicolae Ceauşescu’s megalomaniacal pièce de résistance pass without comment.

The man was simply insane. Following an earthquake in 1977 he took the opportunity to knock down 40,000 homes to build one of the largest buildings in the world. He did this in a country that was suffering from chronic food shortages and where, even today, only half of households are connected to mains water.

The Palace of Parliament is ostentatiously huge. It has at least 3000 rooms – they haven’t bothered to count all of the antechambers and cleaner’s closets.

IMG_3264

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Braşov panorama

Braşov, Romania. Click for a (very) large version.

Brasov panorama

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Two kinds of blood-sucker

Die, die, die, I will kill you all you little bastards, and when I stand over the smoking ruin of your civilisation you will know that I am your doom, and if that doesn't work then pretty please leave me alone?

One of the many things I learned while walking the Camino de Santiago was that I am to bed bugs as Cindy Crawford is to teenage boys (or was to teenage boys 15 years ago, I’m sure they’re into someone else now). It’s flattering at first, but it gets old real fast.

Getting rid of bed bugs is hard. You have to follow strict radioactive decontamination protocol: establish a clean room and move all your personal possessions through into the clean room one by one, boiling them in a pot if they are made of cloth, vacuuming them otherwise. Finally, go through a shower, step out of the shower into a set of new clothes, sprinkle salt over the old clothes in the pattern of a hexagram and set fire to them. Now cross your fingers, go to bed, sleep tight, and hope that you don’t wake up with fresh bites. Good times.

Well, “times”.

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Barefoot in the snow

Széchenyi Baths, Budapest. Generally, when taking a bath, I prefer not to share the tub with innumerable rotund moustachioed Hungarian men. That said, walking barefoot through the snow is enough to make you relish the warm water regardless of the company.

Széchenyi Baths, Budapest

Yes, it is as cold as it looks. The professionals take flip-flops, we just flapped our arms and screeched as we ran across the courtyard.

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Find the Jude – deserted Hungarian flats edition

Something about this video reminds me of my youth spend playing 3D first-person shooter games. Miles of repetitive corridors, ledges and staircases around structures that are deserted because you killed all the monsters half an hour ago but can’t find the exit.

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Brno, with friends

We spent this weekend in Brno, the Birmingham of the Czech Republic. Our hosts were the marvellous Andrea and Kateřina. Bernie met them earlier this year when he was walking the Camino de Santiago.

Brno is kind of macabre. It’s main sights are a crypt full of mummies and a maximum security prison featuring a collection of replica torture instruments and “several romantic and somewhat horrific legends, which are rather at variance with historical reality” (© the poetically written English language guide).

We discovered that Czech and English people have a lot in common including shyness (only when sober) and a shared love of beer, breakfast and cats. The girls looked after us incredibly well and we’re planning to visit them again, but we’ll make sure it’s a warmer time of year when we go back!

With friends

Andrea, Katka, A Giant Teddy Bear (Katka's words, not mine) and me

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Souvenirs, noorvelties, paaarty tricks!

Prague is a city of tat vendors and tourist traps. We love it. It’s clear to anyone arriving in Prague that commerce falls into roughly 4 categories:

  • Beer
  • Pizza
  • Thai massage
  • Shops selling a staggering variety of a single kind of entirely useless item:
Dolls

Russian dolls

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Off we go…

It’s an odd experience putting your life into storage. I’ve moved house, before but this is different. Our lives have been packed up into boxes, and around the house are bare walls and empty shelves.

Empty shelves

These shelves were full of... Stuff.

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